Life..........

I have no idea.... why and where and how its moving forward... But somehow it is!!

I don't even know why i came here.. Maybe because i was thinking from a few days thats its been quite a time since i vomited my frustrations out here...

I actually do that...

I think this blog which started as some sort of a personal online diary has now become a dustbin where i come once in a while when my brain is too full with stuff....and here i spit it all out...

All that i have to take in without an "ufff" and a "why"...

To be precise...

ALL the dirt (i typed another word which would have been more appropriate but thanks to Dr A, decided to censor it here for good) that life has been throwing at me of late...

2010 does not look very promising to be honest...

its not going the way i had it planned....

Nothing is right... and still you ask me how you are? And i will say Alhamdulillah! all fine.

Two days back, i had one of my worst nights ever....

It was so strangely different...

Its not that i never felt worried, upset or sad...

But it was surely the first ever time i actually felt BROKEN...

I thought and used to believe that nothing, NOTHING could ever break me...

But as a friend said, Yes! I am not as brave as i and they thought i was.

A few things went against me and my spirit broke like a house of cards....

I felt so terribly weak....

And i felt so terribly alone.... As if there is not a single person who gives a damn about me in this entire world...

I swear it was the worst possible feeling one can ever experience....

I want everything back. All that i lost, all that i am losing....

I want it back at any cost.

I can not afford anymore blows by fate....

Thanks N and F....Thanks B...

I am so thankful to you all. You made me feel much much better...

At least you helped me regain some of my lost strength....

Love you all...

I want your prayers...always...

Wish everyone a very good luck for life...