I don't know why but even blogging has lost its charm for me...
It feels stupid to come here when i am too full of everything and to pour all frustrations here...
I am sick of never having a good thing, a good memory to share...
All i do is whine about life....
There was a time when Eraj Sahaab used to talk to herself... imagine a whole new world around her and live happily in it if she had any problems with the company provided in the real world...
Mom used to call me a retard.... She thought it was some mental illness that made me talk to myself...
MOM!! you were wrong...
See what have i done to myself after i started talking to humans....
I have nothing else to say right now, except for the fact that i remember it was hard to leave that habit of living in a world of characters imagined by me... But it kept me busy..
I had no time for boredom at least...
And now no matter how hard i try, i cannot make myself do all that again...
Maybe i have grown up..
Or just maybe i have lost another pleasure i had in life...
I miss being stupid.......
Because even though i am not a retard now, i still am mostly treated like one....
I miss all that i was....and hate all that i am now..
7 comments:
one of the worst feelings in the world is when you can't tolerate your ownself. you doubt everything you do and you don't know how to come out of the abyss of blahness. NOTHING seems to make you happy. i experience it often and i know this sounds very mundane, but DONT GIVE UP ERAJ! never let go of yourself and hang onto God's rope. *hugs* Insh'Allah you will feel better!
Wonderful post. I think most people get this self awakening once in a while.
dun worry swetie... u'll come out of it. Its just a phase.
And theres no harm in living in your own created world... Your world and your people would never fail you and would go to any end to keep you happy...at least much much better than this mad world outside..
So put up a smile, even if its a fake one.. and you know u have a point to laght out on people who dont have anything lik it to rely on in testing times :))
Hmmm... It's better to be a retard and therefore be treated like one rather than that not being "it" and still being treated the same way!
*wonders* I don't think what I just said makes sense! :P
Your template is cute- the little girl and her bunny! Cute! :)
Your post made me so sad. I hope you come back and find happiness again.
Its just the same you talk to the people in outside world or you make your own imaginary characters in both the cases you are in oblivion. Far away from the truth. In both the cases u r running from yourself.
nice blog..but guess u gone..
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