Random thoughts!!!

Yeah i know....
people would say...
this girl opens her blog whenever she has some exam coming up and then whines about the tough time she is having, the bad results she gets and everything that goes against her....

But then people.....
can't you see???
It's my life???
so i will live it my way :P

Enough of this stupid attitude....

the CVS (cardiovascular) went away before it started...
and respiratory...
did we really start it??
Well. even if we didn't....
Its over....
we have an assessment on the coming Monday and Tuesday....
and people are definitely studying...
not updating there blogs like me....

Well i tried...but realized there is a little bit too much to do...and as i was confused...i thought it would be better if i relax myself first :)

So, here i am....

It's strange how we change with the course of time....
how the way we think changes....
few incidents in life are imprinted in our minds forever...

I have been planning to write about so many things....but lack of time always stops me from doing so...
many things which i want to share just waste away....because by the time i open up this blog....
the event which had triggered the thought is long gone...
so many things happen so rapidly...that i get no time to record them....

and i hate when this happens...when i get no time to rethink about the way i am living my life....

I am missing many people these days...
many friends are lost.....
lost probably in their own busy lives....

times come when i feel i am the most lonely person in this whole world....
but i know...whenever i get this feeling....
something happens to remind me that i am valued.....
that i am thought about....

Its strange..how i thought when I'll start my studies at Shifa, i would never miss my past time...but i do...
i miss u aini???
where have you been all this time???
Its been long time you called?
Please do so?
because i am missing you these days....missing you badly....

People would ask why cant this girl call her self??
well, well, well
i can, but i won't.....
i want you to call my girl...to know that you miss me too....

Are you loving the life in Greece so much so that you forgot this poor little friend here???

And jia???
you live just a sector away....
but whats wrong girl?
why are we just having two text messages per week of talk??
Too busy?? right?
Will see you later on....

And Razi....
you promised we are meeting in June...so if we don't...ill kill you
curse your sessionals and every stupid semester exam you have....

And A.f
i know we have misunderstandings, i know we fight....
but i try my best not to annoy you....and you know what....
when i fail to do so.....it hurts me big time....
because i start thinking there is something genetically wrong with me which i can't correct...
someday ill make you really really happy.....

AND H....
I am really sorry...i couldn't console you when you really needed me...
death is an issue i really am bad at dealing with....
my vocabulary gets lost.....
i am sorry for uncle.....May he rest in peace......
and wish you good luck with life....
you told me you prayed for something you badly want in life this Friday?
you said you cried while praying....
I pray that you get whatever you want... (Amen)

and RB....
thanks for your compliment yar....
it was such a big one for me :)
i hope i don't disappoint you in the end!
and remember your promise about being the proofreader of my first book :P (if it ever comes out)


and Saadi Api....
I feel so sorry for not being able to attend your wedding....
i will regret it forever...
but then...can't miss a modular assessment :(
(huh! here it comes again)

and mom and dad....
sorry for my mood swings these days.....
i will make you proud someday.....
but dad please...try and understand i am not a machine...
i can't endure any additional courses with MBBS at least...
i hope you understand.....


this now has started to look like a note full of sorries!!! :-S

i don't know why these days i miss you a lot mamu.....
why you left us so very early??
i wanted you to be with us now....
But thats what Allah wanted probably...
you are seeing us from above...right?
I miss you.....

I missed IPL :(
i just watched the final of the RBS 20/20....
but i have decided i won't miss a single match of the T20 World cup.... :)


and i hate being out of touch with news....
curse the people who spread fear in our country....
all the terrorists should be locked in jail and that jail should be sent to some other planet where they die without anyone to cry for them......

Nidz, FI....
thanks people for being there :)
i guess we are getting along well with each other....and i so hope that it goes like this forever
love you....

ZT, YI....
girls we don't see much of each other these days..... (probably because i hate library)
anyways.....
i hope we stay friends and good ones for that :)
(i mean friends forever).......

I wish all my class goodluck for this module....
and a very very goodluck to me too :)

and yeah...summers are here...
i am so looking forward to the monsoon rains....despite the fact that it would be very humid and sweaty..
i love rain..... :)

Anyways....goodluck with life....
i can keep on typing but then...

the longer the post...the fewer the people to read it....
so......
me going off for a while....
may i have some peace in life :)

The unfair life!!!!!!!!!!

Why is life so unfair with some people?
why does it treat them so badly?
why are some people picked especially for the purpose of suffering and torture (mental or physical)?
It seems so unfair that the people who are so good with others, so understanding are the ones who suffer the most.

I feel so sorry for you.....
I know my feeling sorry wont help you..... it simply can't
even my consolation won't help....
i was so speechless when i heard you crying today....
it almost broke me from inside.....
For the first time i felt the true meaning of the word "helplessness"...
i was literally helpless...
didn't knew what to say?
what to do?

Its always been you who helped me when i felt down...when i had some tough times....
and its so shameful i had no idea what to do at the time when you needed me the most???

I am so sorry for that....

These past days... i prayed a lot....
i prayed so much for everything to get back to normal....
i simply can't believe The Almighty Allah... didn't listen to them....

I can only pray to Allah to give you strength to face all this.....

I just hope that this so very unfair life has at least something good hidden for you!!
I wish you all the strength you need.....
And i am so sorry i couldn't say anything to you when a few words of comfort could have (maybe) helped you feel better....

100 truths!!

I am having a very common (in these days) writer's block and desperately want to update this blog of mine...so here i am..for the first time ever doing a tag....

lets see if it satisfies me...
So, who had time enough to tag me?? (knowing that i won't attempt it)

Well, sidra tagged me on FB though... and i am dead sure it was just for the sake of fulfilling the condition imposed ( i.e to tag 25 people)....

So, here i go.....


001. Real name → Eraj
002. Nicknames → Eja, chanda, moti, bachra (my late mamu used to call me that), ejju, cheeku and gol gappa lately :)
003. Zodiac → cancer
004. Male or female → female
005. Elementary → ladybird school system
006. Middle School → His highness shaikh rashid al maktoum school, Dubai, UAE.
007. High School → Islamabad Model College for girls F 10/2
008. Hair color → very dark brown
009. Long or short → somewhere in between both :)
010. Loud or Quiet → depends on the time, my mood, the place where i am and the people i am with.
011. Sweats or Jeans →none
012. Phone or Camera → phone
013. Health freak → not really
014. Drink or Smoke? → none
015. Do you have a crush on someone →no
016. Eat or Drink →drink
017. Piercings → yes, only ears.

HAVE YOU EVER?

019. Been in an airplane → yes
020. Been in a relationship → no
021. Been in a car accident → almost......even then it was very scary
022. Been in a fist fight → no

FIRSTS:

023. First piercing → ears
024. First best friend → Razia
025. First award → well...it was some handwriting contest in Kindergarden i guess (should be ashamed of what i have done to it now)
026. First pet ? never had any...so no firsts and lasts
027. First big vacation? not any yet :)
028. First crush: none so far.

LASTS:

029. Last person you talked to → mom
030. Last person you texted → jia (WT)
031. Last person you watched a movie with → i havent seen a movie in years i guess
032. Last food you ate → breakfast....(details not required i guess)
033. Last movie you watched → don't remember..........Oh yeah!! Lorenzo's oil.... :)
034. Last song you listened to →can't remember
035. Last thing you bought → some hair clips and bands i guess (summers are here you know)
036. Last person you hugged → mom

FAVES:

037. Food--> anything goes.... but pizza...with lots of cheese!! Oh yeah...
038. Drinks → juices (mango, pineapple)
039. Clothing → shalwar kameez
040. Flower → jasmin
042. Color → sky blue
043. Movie → none
044. Subject → physiology

In 2009, I....

045. kissed someone ------- no
046. celebrated Halloween-------- why would i??
047. had your heart broken------------- don't know for sure.
048. went over the minutes/texts on your cell phone---------- yes
049. someone questioned your sexual orientation---------- no :S
050. gotten someone pregnant------------- shut up
051. gotten pregnant--------------- duh no
052. had an abortion----------- refer to question 51
053. done something you've regretted-------------- many things
054. broke a promise----------- yes :(
055. hid a secret--------- yes, many
056. pretended to be happy------- many times
057. met someone who changed your life----------yes
058. pretended to be sick----------- no
059. left the country-------- no
060. tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it------- guess no
061. cried over the silliest thing------- many times
062. ran a mile------ ah no i guess.
063. went to the beach with a good friend--------yes
064. got into an argument with your friends-----------yes
065. hated someone..-------- yes
066. stayed single the whole year-------- ufff...more than that... all my life so far

CURRENTLY:

067. Eating → nothing
068. Drinking → nothing
069. I'm about to → update my blog :P
070. Listening to → the unwanted noise thats coming out of the televisions' speaker
071. Plans for today → study something (hopefully more than 3 pages of guyton) and spend some good time with an old friend :)
072. Waiting for → a miracle to change everything i hate about my life

YOUR FUTURE:

073. Want kids? → yes
074. Want to get married? → sometime in future, yes
075. Careers in mind → medicine....:)

HAVE YOU EVER:

083. Lost glasses/contacts → never (i broke them many times though)
084. Snuck out of your house → yes, as a kid...and got a good beating after that too :)
085. Held a gun/knife for self defense → well, no..i would if the need comes
086. Killed somebody → will a less-than-an-inch-sized cockroach count or an ant count??
088. Been arrested → no
089. Cried when someone died → yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

090. Yourself → yes i do...thats what keeps me going...
091. Miracles → yes....but they are very very very rare
092. Love at first sight → hmmm,,, cat say anything....still confused on that
093. Heaven → yes...
094. Santa Claus -- no
095. Sex on the first date → no
096. Kiss on the first date → no

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → yes
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? → Yes, i am, There always are regrets and we-as humans- are the most thankless of all,.....but still i am happy with all what i have and what i am....

099. Do you believe in God → ALLAH ALMIGHTY, yes :)
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 25 people → oki...boss :(