Life....

So much is happening around us these days.......

Floods, brutality, insensitivity, mismanagement and a lot more....

I have to admit, when i heard about the 'sialkot incidence', i was numb for so many hours even days.

I am still shocked at how quickly i recovered and even forgot the initial jolt that rocked me when i first heard the news.

Is this the Pakistan i was proud of?

Oh no...i am still proud of my motherland.

But are these the people, the Pakistanis, who i thought were a great nation??

How am i still roaming around, smiling, laughing, living a normal life when someone who had an equal right to live was murdered in such an inhuman way...

no words are strong enough to describe the brutal act that was committed and that too from people who call themselves Muslims and Pakistanis....

If a glass slips from my hand the crashing sound it makes with the floor makes me wince as if it was hurt. Its a very normal, human response. Although, its not a living thing, and it will not experience any pain, my next step would be to pick it up, look for any scratches, breaks etc. Now if that glass or whatever it was is of some value to me, i might hope i haven't broken it and if i have caused any damage, i will feel really really bad.

Now, what if i am angry and i am holding something. My anger could drive me to throw whatever i am holding. This is also a normal human response. That is why anger is not good.

But after a while, when i am feeling a little normal again, i will realize what i have done.

Now, if my anger was justified i might not regret what i did if the thing is of no great value or if i didn't cause any damage. But if it was valuable and i broke it in my anger, i will regret my outburst.

Regret, once again is normal for humans.

And what if i realize, my anger was not even justified. That i actually had no reason whatsoever for being angry.

My regret now would be immense.

Well, these people whoever they are not only committed an unforgivable act in their anger (or so they claim), they also have no regrets at all.

They think they are justified in beating two humans to death!!!

Not being concerned about the irreparable damage you caused to two precious lives is not human.

Not regretting the act after you know the angry outburst was not justified is not human.

Defending your inhuman act is.........i seriously don't know what!!!

To top it all off, it happens in Ramadan- the holiest of all months!!

I keep on listening to meaningless words like justice..

Their is no justice in this world at least for Mughees and Muneeb.

And may their family and parents be given more strength then they already have, and may they get rewarded for their Sabr. (Ameen)

Rains have caused havoc all over Pakistan.

Leaving the disgusting facts (like from where the extra water came, and who did what to save whose property) for some other time or for the anchors who have to earn their livings by breaking depressing news and stories.....

I just pray to Almighty Allah to please help us all.

Ya Ilahi, hum teri is aazmaish key laiq he nahi, Tu hume aisi aazmaish me na daal key jis pe hum pura he nahi utar saktey, aur Aye mere Rabb ul kareem, tu mere hum watno ko is museebat se nikal, aur hume taufeeq ata kar key hum is babarkat mahiney me unki madad kar saken, Aur humarey naam nihad leaders ko hidayat dey, key is baar wo apne bharey hue bank accounts aur kabhi na khatm hone wali properties ko mazeed brhaney ki bajaye, unki madad karen k jinho ne ghalti he se sahi, unhe apna leadrer chuna. (Amen)

And now i go to get ready for college hoping i will see some interesting cases at my last day of off-campus rotations!!!

The eternal dissatisfaction!!

I sometimes wonder....what material we humans are made off...
we get and get and get.....but still we stay thankless.....
Okay...fine!!
We do go through the so-called bad times..... but then, why do we forget to cheer up for the little good things that happen to us....

Have you people ever seen a beggar smile?
People who live below the poverty limit.....?
I have.... and they have such truth to their smiles sometimes...that their smiles overshadow the fake laughs of the millionaires of this world.....

I, myself, am the most thankless person of the whole world....
and here...i do acknowledge the fact that i have gotten a lot more than i deserve from life...so far.....

What i have actually noticed is the more you get, the more you want!!
The lesser you have, the better you know its worth.....

I don't know why but words are not enough to mention the height of my displeasure...
when i see a whole crowd of people happy (even if its on something really stupid) being interrupted by a person who whines about what bad life we have...and how worse everything really is....and why we shouldn't be too excited about it...and bla bla bla...

If someone ain't interested in being happy or is unaware of the art of enjoying the small joys that life offers....he better should keep his dissatisfaction to himself....
why depress the whole world.....

God help those who don't know how to stay happy....and
MAY WE ALL LIVE IN PEACE!!!

We won!!!!!!!.... :)

Hurrah!

We won..... :)

After a slow, disappointing start...
its such a great feeling to see Pakistan Crowned as The WORLD CHAMPIONS.....

It was worth all the tensions, prayers, confusions and everything....
It felt great to see all the nation rejoicing again...and together as one whole!

Celebrations all around!!...
People who never paid any attention to T20 matches....were even congratulating each other....

It clearly shows...how this nation was starved for any happiness...
Its so easy to please the simple people of this Great Nation...
LONG LIVE PAKISTAN....
MANY CONGRATULATIONS TO THE WHOLE NATION ON SUCH A GREAT VICTORY!!!
HATS OFF TO THE YOUNG PAKISTANI CRICKET TEAM WHO DID A LOT MORE THAN WAS EXPECTED.... :)

Keep rocking....
May Afridi retain this stable form forever.....
And may the whole team over shadow the whole world....

Good luck for the tour to Sri Lanka...DON'T let them take revenge...and make this nation proud again.....

PAKISTAN.......PAINDABAD!!!!!!!!

Crazy fights!!!

Even as a kid i always hated fights. But then childhood fights with friends, with cousins etc were fun actually. We fought on petty issues and then tried to ignore each other. Not more than five minutes would have passed and we even forgot the reason we were fighting for. Just a smile, a hug and everything returned to normal. Even a stupid sorry mended everything. As we vowed never to fight again, we were naive enough to believe it.

With progression of age, the nature of fights changes. One would think that maturity would result in lesser fights, more understanding and stronger bonds. But unfortunately that is not the case. I always wondered why adults fought so badly. I thought they were not as silly as kids and they should try to reason everything out instead of fighting uselessly. That was what they told us to do.

Now, i have realised its easier said than done.

Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we fail to avoid them.

I have never been good at fighting (except with mom).

And due to some unknown reason, i still thought they are not that serious. That just a smile, a hug or even a stupid sorry would mend everything.

I was in for a big shock. I was wrong.

They are damn serious now.

They go on and on and on for days, weeks, years and even for the whole lifetime.

And even for a while, if we decide its better to forget them and move on, at some stage in life they are bound to come back.

Adults are usually proud of their sharp memories and they will never hesitate from bringing up a twenty year old comment/event to prove there point or to prove the other person wrong.
I thought clearing a confusion once was enough but no. Every time you do something wrong even unintentionally you have to give answers for every little doing of yours even if that particular 'doing' was done many many years ago.
I hate giving explanations for my every act. But to save a friendship, a relationship i would do everything that i hate.
Because relationships and life for me is one big COMPROMISE.
I thought friendship was all about understanding.
It was all about listening to the unsaid, seeing the invisible, understanding the unexplained.
All my life, i have been making excuses for my friends.
If this thing happened, i must have done atleast something wrong. If someone said this, there must be some reason for it and so on.
I am sick of making excuses.
My friends told me that i am very sweet, very understanding and forgiving.
I am sick of all what i am.

I cannot forget people, i cannot ignore people, i cannot exclude people from my life.
I cannot say bye to friends. Because i always want hope to be there.
No one can understand what i feel when a friend who had said bye (forever) comes back to me and tells me that i am important, that i was missed. I never say goodbye because i never want to. No matter how big the dispute is, the person itself is still more important.

I so wish that people who claim to be my friends will try (only try) to understand me.

"KANTON SE DIL LGAO JO TA-UMR REH SAKEN

PHOLON KA KIA JO SAANS KI GARMI NA SEH SAKEN"

Reflections on The first week in medical college!

I had always been at a loss of words when faced with the question about why i wanted to become a doctor and how I will deal with the stress which the countless demands of this profession results in. I had always been troubled with the questions like are you doing it for the monetary value or the social status and respect which the society gives one as a physician. I thought i would have been guilty of hypocrisy if i had claimed that i wanted it only to save humanity and work selflessly for mankind. Afterall who does not want monetary benefits and respect from the society? I often used to ask myself what would i do after completing my medical education? Would i be treating patients for the common cold and flu problems or would i be sitting in some office as a specialist in any particular field treating patients referred to me by some other colleagues?

I had this strong impression at the back of my mind that medicine is the only thing that i ever wanted to do and would love to do but i was unaware of the actual reasons behind this desire of becoming a physician.
I have been amazed by how suddenly i got answers to all these of my questions in just a few days or probably in just a few hours.
In only the few discussion sessions with the faculty members of my college, i have realized that stress management is not the actual issue, That a physician's goal is not his own self-betterment but it actually revolves around the welfare of his patients. That its not about treating somene for physical ailments, its also about emotional and spiritual healing. That its not about being an excellent medical practitioner, its about being an almost perfect human being. Its about being honest, altruistic, truthful, communicative, empathetic, skillful and innovative. I have realised that a physician is not one who treats a disease but the one who relieves a patient from his problems, pain and suffering and tries all feasible options for this very purpose.
The movie about Patch Adams was indeed inspirational. It cleared the confusion regarding the real goal of medical practice.
Its not just delaying death thats important, its basically improving the quality of life for the people around you which will make some difference.

The idea of being content at the sight of a suffering human's (i.e patients) smile tells me how the physicians manage all the stress. The stress experienced by seeing a patient whose condition is worsening further evaporates at the sight of another patient who is getting better and smiling back at you
What i have realised in these few days is that medical education is not about memorizing facts and practicing skills. Its about developing one's overall attitude towards life and humanity. It demands determination, hardwork, sincerity,passion and committment but it gives back a lot more. And the most important among all what you get is the satisfaction after seeing a patient recover and smile.

One handclasp lifts a soul,

One sunbeam lights a room,

One candle wipes out darkness,

One laugh can conquer gloom,

One touch can show care,

One heart can know what's true,

One life can make the difference,

YOU SEE ITS UPTO YOU!!!

Hajj: when i was there!!!

I saw the visuals on television of millions of Muslims performing Hajj (the fifth pillar of Islam which is obligatory for every Muslim who has the means to perform it) and i went back in the time when i was also there in Makkah. It was quite a few years ago at the beginning of the new millenium when our family decided to perform Hajj. It was the last year of my dad's transfer to Dubai. The journey was a memorable one indeed. And how could it have been otherwise?

We decided to travel from Dubai to Makkah on road accompanied by two other families of my friends and dad's co-workers. My grand parents also arrived from Pakistan to join us. The dads were given the task of driving, moms to pack and prepare and we the kids just to behave well. It is not a short drive from Dubai to Makkah . And therefore, it took us almost 60 hours to reach Makkah. We slept from 10pm till fajr for the two nights we were on the road and were on the move for the rest. With Hamdia and Naatia Kalaam's on the player along with Manajats and booklets explaining the ways to perform Hajj and all its components in our hands, sometimes we dozed off inside the car, sometimes we talked, sometimes we ate anything we could get our hands on from the back of our car and at other times we simply looked outside enjoying the ever-changing view. It was simply amazing, most of the part was desert and we kept wondering on the textures and various colours of the sand there. Then, along the road sometimes came camels and they completed the picture. The temperature was also strange or very desert-like. In days, it was extremely hot and at night it was freezing cold. Especially, at the time of fajr prayers, it was a real test to get out from your blanket and use chilly cold water for ablution (no hot water availiable as there are no water heaters installed on the roadside mosques). My dad had a special duty for me......

It was when everyone dozed off during the daytime in the car and snored (this was done by my grand-dad), my dad would keep me wide awake to give him company and make me wash my face and sprinkle water on his face whenever we both felt sleepy. There came a time when i felt so sleep deprived, i tried to keep my eyes open and let my body sleep. :)

We changed into Ehraam (the clothes for Hajj- two white unsewn pieces of cloth for men and regular clean clothes for women with Head scarf) at the appointed place outside Makkah and offering two Raka'at of prayers moved forward. We were stopped outside the boundaries of this sacred city and split into small groups of ten cars and asked to follow the police officials. Throughout the journey we had not seen many cars along the road, but there we saw the actual crowd. There were cars and cars as far as one could see. By the police officials we were led into a huge parking lot and asked to park our cars and move forward with our luggage in the buses provided for the purpose. The cars not registered in Makkah were not allowed to enter the city in order to control traffic there. We were hungry and the only food availaible was mixed daal(lentils) which was very liquidy with bread. We ate it because we were hungry and because we knew we had to eat whatever availaible for the remaining days of Hajj. There are no hotels, the food is provided to the pilgrims free of cost. There are hotels in the city but none at places like Arafat, Mina, Muzdalifa where pilgrims spend most of their time...almost a week.

Once we entered Makkah, the time fled away without our even noticing. We were always on the move, starting with performing Umra and then moving to Muzdalifa where the only thing one saw was tents. Tents where we had to spend atleast three days and nights....

Spending one night in Mina, we went to the ground of Arafat for the most important component of Hajj. It was very hot, extremely hot but then no one cared. All everyone cared for was forgiveness. Everyone cried for it, begged for it and prayed for it.

Offering prayers, we came back to our tent and collected small stones for the next day. Next day dawned and the time for stoning the devil -Shaitaan- came. After the slaughtering of animals we were free to change the Ehraam. We stoned the other two Jamra'ats in the next two days, offered Tawaf-e-Ziarat ( which to me seemed as the toughest part because it was so crowdy around the Kaaba Mubarak that i feared dying of suffocation). Somehow, we completed the seven rounds around the Kaaba and prepared for the journey to Madina.

We reached Madina, the next day and visited Masjid-e-Nabawi, offered prayers there...spent some days and were ready to come back.

How the time flew was strange. We were there for almost a month and yet it seemed like a few minutes. In no time, we were sitting in our cars, my dad was driving and we were heading back towards home on the same roads we had passed earlier. We reached Dubai after two days and saw the shopping festival and millenium festivities going on. The music in the ground infront of our house was deafening, the cheers from people were shrill and high as they enjoyed some ride or other below. And we thought, what a different world it is from the one we had just left.

At eleven years of age, i might have no proper knowledge of its importance but now i know what it meant to me then.When i realize how i wasted my time there in my childishness, when the only thing i should have done was to pray and pray endlessly and earnestly, my desire of going there now reaches another height. I know i will go there one day, InshaAllah. I know that the Almighty above there will give me one more opportunity to see the Holy Masjid-e-Haram, the Holy Khana-e-Kaaba, the Rooza-e-Rasool (PBUH) and the battlefields of Ohad and Badar. I know i will once again be able to get lost in the crowds of millions dressed in the pure white, crying infront of their Lord for forgiveness, for purity, for Jannah. Oh! i so hope i will be there once again offering those "NAFAL PRAYERS" in the Cave of Jabl-e-Hira where once Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) used to offer prayers for days and nights.

I know for sure that i will get another opportunity to land my foot there because even in my childish lack of awareness, when i had to pray where every prayer is answered and every wish granted, I asked this ,"YA ALLAH TA'ALA!! MERI HER JAIZ DUA AUR KHWAHISH PURI KARNA" (Oh! Lord Almighty! Listen to all my prayers and fulfill all my just wishes).

And from that day i never had a wish unfulfilled. Never had a pray unanswered, I might have felt that my wishes are not being granted, or my prayers are not being answered or that i am being treated harshly by fate. But, everytime when my frustrations got the better of me and tried to make a thankless jerk of me, The ALMIGHTY made me realize i have not lost everything, that the actual wish has still been granted, only in a twisted form, That i was stupid not to realize how beneficial the temporary setback had been to me.

When i see millions dressed in white offering Hajj i realise the power of the Muslim Ummah, only if the Ummah also realises it.

All Muslims are there for one purpose, to please their Almighty and ask for forgiveness. No one remembers his ownself, the individuality vanishes. There is no black or white, red or yellow, African or American or Asian or any other. There is no Indian or Pakistani, no short or tall, no smart or plump. All the various groups merge into one whole unit- The Muslim Ummah-capable of crushing any power, any evil force that comes in their path. The problem lies in the fact that as soon as the white Ehraam is off from our bodies, the voices of Labaik-Allah-Humma-Labaik subside and we leave that land, we once again split into the many groups, we once again become the black and the white, the yellow and the red, the Asian and the African, the American and the Indian. We lose our strength as soon as we become individuals. The 313 soldiers were victorious at Badar because they were one whole unit, because they were united and commited, because they had belief in their unity.

We want to get back that belief and commitment which made our forefathers rule Spain for more than eight centuries. Only then, we can live in this international community with our heads high.

"Yun to kaaba bhe, kalma bhe, hai quran bhe aik

kuch bari baat thi, hotey jo Musalman bhe aik

------Allama Iqbal--------"

Mr. Bharat Verma's Misconceptions.

I had heard him first on a Tv channel and to tell the truth was not pleased with his tone especially towards Pakistan. So, i thought of finding a bit more about him. In this quest, i stumbled upon his one article which catches your attention (if you are a Pakistani especially) only if you read the title.
Stable Pakistan not in India’s interest by Bharat Verma.

I don't know what majority of the Indians think about this view of his, as he is quite critical of his own countrymen too.

I would like to comment on some of his misconceptions about Pakistan.
He says in the very beginning :
"That New Delhi is its own enemy became obvious, when it permitted the creation of a pure Islamic State on its borders...."
"Therefore, if New Delhi has not slept a wink since the creation of Pakistan, it has no one except itself to blame!...."

Well , Mr Verma you might as well clear your assumption that Pakistan came into being because of New Delhi's mistake.
As a matter of fact it came into being because Millions sacrificed for its creation, because of a struggle which extended for almost a century and in one way or other is still continuing. Most important of all, Pakistan came into being because it was destined to.


He then says:
"Many conveniently propose the myth that a stable Pakistan is in India’s interest. This is a false proposition.
The truth is that Pakistan is bad news for the Indian Union since 1947-stable or otherwise".

I seriously am shocked to see Mr. Verma worried because of a nation which he thinks will cease to exist in matter of time as i will quote later on. Well, Mr Verma! Pakistan and India are two Nuclear powers. Whatever, you may think you have to cope with this bad news you call Pakistan. Because, as the situation stands today, a stable Pakistan is imperative for a stable India. Ofcourse, all indians are sensible enough to know, war is in no one's favour.
It will end with two lands destroyed, and the two nations will be no more there to claim it.

He continues with baseless allegations:
"However, during these phases of stability, it continued to export terrorism, fake currency, narcotics, and indulged in attempts to change demographics on our borders, cultivated sleeper cells and armed groups inside our territory to create an uprising at an appropriate time".

Mr Verma, for these allegations of yours which you so confidently link to Pakistan, i would like India to go with all your proofs to that International court of justice. You certainly need some justice as you have been hurt so much. The crimes you accuse Pakistan of are serious enough. Certainly, if Mr Saddam could be convicted, you might succeed in getting justice and convicting Pakistan. I wonder if you are so convinced of your suppositions, why haven't you created havoc in the international community for being treated so harshly.

Mr Verma mentions:
"In either case Baluchistan will achieve independence. For New Delhi this opens a window of opportunity to ensure that the Gwadar port does not fall into the hands of the Chinese. In this, there is synergy between the political objectives of the Americans and the Indians. Our existing goodwill in Baluchistan requires intelligent leveraging".

Disregarding your and other countries' objectives Mr Verma, i am shocked to know that you have some kind of existing goodwill in Baluchistan. The situation in this province of ours doesn't really seem to have any particular signs of "goodwill" involved there.
I wonder what sort of admission this is on your side???


Mr Verma continues and mentions his biggest misconception:
"With Pakistan on the brink of collapse due to massive internal as well as international contradictions, it is matter of time before it ceases to exist".

"At the height of the recent disturbances in the Valley, when a general asked me for a suggestion to resolve the issue, I said: “Remove Pakistan. The threat will disappear permanently.” Today the collapse of Pakistan as a state is almost certain. All the King’s men cannot save it from itself".

I never realised that my country was on the brink of collapse. Mr Verma, you have really opened my eyes to all the dangers.
Well, i may ask you, who was it who commented in 1947 that Pakistan can't even survive for ten years?
Some British or Indian perhaps!
If Pakistan survived at that time with no industry, no capital funds, no military training, no ammunition, with only one thing we had-spirit. It will face all the odds once again, and then again.
And for the correction of your record, we don't need any king's men to save ourselves,
we still have the spirit.
And one thing strengthens my belief even further!
If Pakistan could survive with the sort of leaders we always had, none good after Quaid and the party, why can't we now?
We definitely can and will!
Pakistan is a reality Mr Verma, and the sooner you realise it, the better it will be for you.

The two nations would like to live as two good neighbours, visit each other, share there scenic beauty, play cricket together and do all which two friendly nations do.
No one wants a fight. But self-respect is the right of every country. And we the Pakistanis are a very proud nation indeed. True, we have problems. Every nation does have theirs. In our own course, we will overcome these problems someday.
Hope, no doubt, is the foundation of most revolutions. The second is spirit. And thanks to the Almighty above, we have both.
I know so many indians, who unlike you would like to see both nations happy.
And there are a lot many Pakistanis who would like the same.

Mumbai Horror!!!

A terrible attack once again. Only its another country, the style of attack changes and the places are different. The result is still the same. Many innocents die, those alive are left in a state of terror unimaginable.
I, sitting there on my cozy sofa and watching television's live coverage wondered, what if gunmen are running all over the streets in which i had spent my childhood. What if the same hotel in which i dined so often is burnt infront of my eyes and i am made a terrified spectator? What if the city i so love, is turned into a battlefield? Or what if i am confined in my house for three horrible days forced to watch television which shows me deadbodies of my own citizens? Or God forbid, what if i am taken hostage to mere youths in their mid twenties and mentally tortured to death by them??

Mere youths!!!!!!!
It breaks my heart to know that people who are almost of my own age are brought up with such crap in their brains that they think they do a job of greatness by killing people. What sort of youth is theirs!!
Instead of doing something to build their countries (if they belong to any), instead of dreaming of an excellent future and planning for it, they are doomed to die as terrorists. Is there any greater pity than the fact that when they die, they are so unfortunate they have no one to cry on their dead bodies.
They have no life here, and none in the world hereafter.

If i had one such person infront of me, i would like to draw blood drop by drop from their bodies and tell them repeatedly no one cares when they die. Its of no use even then, because these people are not capable of any humanly feelings. They are beneath the wildest of animals.

They belong to no cast, no creed, no nation. They don't even belong to the human race.
The society disowns them. Their bodies must be left in some jungle to rot, as they don't even deserve a proper burial.

I always thought cruelty is wrong even to criminals. I thought bloodshed in any form was actually to be shunned. But being forced for a long time to see the gruesome dead bodies of my own brothers, sisters, countrymen and fellow humans mutilated or blown into pieces. I often wonder what punishment will bring all of these people back to life.
None!
I often wonder what punishment will reduce the pain of those whose loved ones died because of some diseased people unfortunate enough to be born.
None!
I often think, my head will one day burst with all these thoughts.

And then, i often think what our world would have been like if there were no terrorists!
No diseased extremists, no murderers of humanity.

It would have been heaven.
Where people smiled, children were not confined inside the walls of their houses because of terror but were allowed to play on the streets without any danger. Where death came as naturally as possible. Where people enjoyed their dinners in the Taj, in the marriot, in the Oberoi without ever seeing them burning and blowing into pieces.

I hope....once again, that everything returns to normal.
But i don't know what is normal..
Because sounds of blasts, gunfires and cries of innocent people seem to me as more normal..
I see and hear them more often than i see smiles and hear laughter.

I hope i die a sane person and have a normal death. I am not afraid of death but i am afraid of my lifeless body lying on some road with ambulances screaming and bloodshed all around.

The 9/20 in Pakistan!!

I was at my home, sitting on the sofa in my room. My mom, dad and younger brother were in the other room relaxing after AFTAR. It was just like anyother evening, yet it was different. We were about to realise it soon.

All of a sudden, there was a tremor and our doors shook and rattled. My brother said it is a blast, and we all said no, it must be the wind blowing outside or maybe an earthquake. After 8, oct, 05, every little tremor felt like an earthquake. We were speculating about the cause of the sound and tremor when came the BREAKING NEWS.

A huge blast has hit marriot hotel, in the heart of Pakistani capital, Islamabad.

It was terrible. Suddenly, we started calling our relatives who lived in close proximity to the site of the blast, inquiring about their safety. Every one once again realised that security is indeed a superstition. My dad had been on the very road on the same evening on his way back home from office. The place was a mess now.

We were watching the news updates and wondering how many more innocents will die?
How many more unfortunate families will be left mourning?
With tears in our eyes, we were helplessly watching our fellow citizens die.

Adding to the misery, the building of marriot caught fire. The fire was so intense and it spread so quickly that it took about 14 hours with the unequipped fire brigades owned by us to calm it down.
After the flames what we saw was another shock.
There stood Marriot, a burnt, destroyed, blackened structure, with no resemblance to the marriot we knew.

I suddenly remembered my most cherished memory related to marriot. It was a couple of years back when i along with some other students had the honour to attend the first meeting of noble laureates with Pakistani young scholars.
It was a great moment at a great place. An amazing learning experience.

The details of how the blast occured are now known to everyone. A truck (dumper) disguised as a carrier of construction material entered Islamabad, and then the red zone. It hit the marriot's entrance and than the driver blasted himself...
The truck caught fire, and the explosives it was carrying blew apart with a huge explosion after a few minutes.

Here, some people need special mention.
The security guards on duty there.....

They knew the danger all too well. Still, they tried to stop the truck's fire in order to save many lives using just a small extinguisher. It was real show of bravery by the true martyrs.
Hats off to them.

Its the existance of people like these who make us a nation hopeful to see something better in future in situations when everything is going wrong.
I just don't know what was the crime of these people who got killed??

Drivers, security persons, waiters, cheffs, passers by- these all were common people.
If it was in retaliation to whats happening in the tribal areas, i see no way how it can be justified. Acts of terrorism can never be justified, killing of innocent people can never be for some good purpose.

Well, what a beautiful smile it is...

i wonder where our smiling faces vanish as soon as we get out of childhood....

we just forget how to smile....

maybe the cruelty of the world is revealed to us which steals our happiness from us..

the smiles of adults can never be this pleasing, this beautiful....as most of the time...

they dont come from deep inside of us.

The human lot as a whole has forgotten how to smile....

If we want to smile as beautifully as this girl does, the smile must come from our inner soul...

and for this...we need to realise that our smiles made our eyes sparkle as a child because we were content...we didnt ask for more and more...just a candy or two made us happy...

And as adults....

we are not even content with millions...in our banks...

if we learn the art of being satisfied with what we have...we can also smile like this.

"As a rule

man is fool

when its hot

he wants it cool

when its cool

he wants it hot

always wanting

what is not".

if we just want what we can have....no doubt we will smile.

SMILE FOREVER, N SMILE FROM WITHIN.

Lets spread smiles...in this world...............

HOPELESSNESS!

"Hopelessness is Pakistan's staple diet and, unlike electricity, flour or sugar, it is here in plenty."

----by Masood Hasan, The News, July,6,08, SUNDAY.



I read the article this sunday and was forced to think about the reality it so boldly expresses.

No doubt, Mr Hasan is right about the grim situation. Pakistan is "plummeting swiflty to oblivion". It was his 100% correct criticism of Mr Aziz (Short-cut Aziz who is happily living abroad now) that made me a regular reader of his columns and here i am being forced to commend him on his great thoughts and writing. I am attracted to his satirical tone, his realistic stating of facts and his concern about Pakistan. I just can't resist the temptation of quoting all his statements in his current article. Any body who missed it, please grab The News' edition for 6 july 08 and read it all till the end. It so poignantly reminds me of thinking about "wiping off our past mistakes as if they were written on a slate using a chalk". But Alas! as Mr Hasan says "those were slates and that was school", we are unable to do so.

This gives us a lesson which is almost too late to learn that we should take every step with extreme caution.This caution never came into the mind of our leaders. And we- the nation- suffer as a result.

I remember the day our frustrated physics teacher kept on speaking about the present scenario with depression in his tone for almost half an hour. He talked about the massive loan we have taken from the world bank and countries like U.S. Making us almost their slaves. He said he became so tense when he thought that every Pakistani has a debt of about 17000RS upon him even those who have the sky as roof and earth as floor. It was a shock for all of us. We had never thought about our country's loans in that terms. 17000RS is not a small amount for thousands who are living below the poverty line. Those who are unable to eat a complete meal even once a day.

A friend of mine asked about what to write about in an essay about Current Problems, even without thinking my mind was flooded with scores of crisis and problems(severe ones) faced by Pakistan.



I hope without any hope that for Pakistan peace, progresss and prosperity will not be forever out of reach. I hope against all hope that one day we will not have hopelessness as our staple diet and sounds of blasts as music for our ears but pleasure,contentment and laughter instead.

The enigma of entry tests......

Its rather a strange state when one is dangling betweem complete freedom and the hectic shedule which is the demand of examinations.And this strange state is what i am going through these days. I am not exactly free from academic pressure (as the entry tests and the practicals are still there to be dealt with) and i am not really bound (because atleast my exams are over).

I really am in a state of complete confusion regarding what to do with the course books which still haunt my dreams.........
I want to get rid of them but i can't. Wondering why????

HUH!!!!!
Not because i am expecting the worst result possible (i.e a failure) but because i will have to go through them again (and again) because of the stupid Entry Test. Now this entry test is also a cute little way of our education system's strategy to keep the students in a state of misery. You work hard, get headaches over the tiring chemistry, stupid physics and lengthy biology but your result is not proof enough of your ability. They will have to cross check it before granting you that letter which will make it possible for you to turn your dreams into a reality. And to top it all...there is not just one test...there are many of them.

The AKU ET..............(which i gave and failed to succeed in)
The NUST-AMC ET..........(which i am trying to prepare for, sheduled to be held on 27th july 08)
The PMC ET............(which will be held in the month of october)

And this is only the list if you are not planning to apply in other private medical colleges.
There is another test which is completely useless, yet compulsory for students desirous to take admission in (quite a number of) other colleges of our country excluding the medical ones...
This is the test taken by NTS (National Testing Service). It is divided into several categories and they just announce their importance when the last date of registration is less than a week(or maybe two) away.
These tests keep us- the miserable student lot- busy the whole year after our final exams. And i have seen quite a lot of the hard working intelligent students dejected due to failure in entry tests. This is a sad sight...to see the dreams of the really bright students shattered just because they were unable to do well in a 2 hour test. The hardwork of many years going into waste just because you were not aware of how difficult it was going to be....
There is a remarkable difference between our way of studying for exams and entry tests. For exams we are supposed to learn everything by heart....(i particularly hate this way of studying). Although our board is repeatedly heard making statements about the change in the pattern resulting in conceptual way of study, the chances of success for those who memorize everything are still far greater.
The entry test preparation is a completely different task. Their the requirement is not only the retention of all the facts learned in past academic years but also their application. You are asked to analyze data on your own and to solve tough problems at a quick pace. It demands a good grasp of basic concepts, a quick mental solving ability and unwavering concentration-a situation most of the students have never faced before.
We- the students- are used to writing( or copying to be fair) every little fact we had read in our books and other notes with the fastest possible writing speed, but when we are asked to answer a question in a single word or sentence, we fail to do so.
This is where the most intelligent of the students fail because they never knew about how to answer precisely.
Now one must be wondering what is the solution to this serious problem???






Well i am just a student myself, do you people really think i know the solution?
If i had, i would not have been ranting about the severity of the problem. :D

Anyways, many academies are publishing numerous adds about how they will make students perform well in the entry test. I wonder how they are going to change the approach of a student to studies in just one or two months.....
They tell us about how many students of theirs have entered prestigious universities and colleges due to their excellent teaching strategies. However, we never see them telling us the number of those students who were unable to enter the desired college despite studying in their academy. I hope they offer atleast something good...because most of the students rely on the preparation their courses offer. But i would like to say that whether you join an academy or not..you must try your best, work hard and practice. Practice as many questions as you can. Practice, practice and practice. It is the key to your success. Learn from your mistakes....consult good quality books and widen your scope of learning. In the end, no matter what the outcome is, you know you have tried your best. And this feeling is what is the most important.....

papers leaked out.....

So, papers are really eating my time...
i feel like whether i prepare or not...the result is pretty much the same.....(hahaha)
Anyways i am in no mood to discuss my exams over here...

I am in mood to discuss the exams of my juniors......i.e the poor lot of SSC(Matric) I heard that the physics paper leaked out twice.....and the third time it leaked out...the poor frustrated federal board just took the exam anyway...Maybe they were tired of remaking the paper again and again or it could be that our crisis hit country had been on the verge of a paper crisis if a new paper was printed on such a large scale.
Whatever the reason, still the poor SSC lot is screaming about the paper being out of course...(it could be that those unfortunate ones who were unable to reach the leaked out paper are indirectly complaining about there "misfortune").
As per the routine, an Inquiry committee has been ordered to analyse if the complain(of paper being out of course) is justified or not. As usual the committee would submit its report in God knows how much time and then...according to the report if necessary the students will be compensated by Grace marks...

I want to ask a question from our respected board members....if they always are forced to award students with grace marks, why do they make such a paper in the first place?
Our education system is the most unstable of all the world i believe...
it keeps on oscillating between the composite/divided exams.......the open/restricted choice and many more...
The life of students is a constant misery just because of this instability.
It is a huge uncertainty that according to which system and which pattern will they have there exams. In such situations, the board not only turns a students life into a miserable one.. it also plays with the careers of many students. We all know that matric and fsc are of prime importance in any one's career especially if someone is pursuing the professional education of medicine or engineering.
Such unstable system results in poor performance by many capable students and as a result they fail to enter the professional institutions which ask for a high score in both fsc and matric.

The board should try to establish a stable, secure system to accurately judge the abilities of a student. This is only possible if an excellent education policy is formulated and implemented....
Whatever the finalized system is...it should be for a long term and should not change on yearly basis.

For the new students, I would like to say.....
I know how it feels when you get lower grades than you are capable of just because you were unable to adjust with a new system that keeps on changing. But still, believe in your self and your capabilities. Work very hard, and concentrate on the concepts you are being taught. Hard work never goes unrewarded....and even with an unstable system if you do your best... you will InshaAllah have a good outcome.
For the ones who are suffering right now...
Dear ones, i am with you to share your misery...just relax and try to give your best. Leave the rest to the Almighty. And pray a lot for a stable education system in our beloved country PAKISTAN.

The misery of missing......

This post is for all those people i cant stop missing, no matter how hard I try.

Well, in our life we come across a lot of people.....
some of them bring fun in our life and some of them are just there to irritate the hell out of us.
The people who are responsible for bringing trouble in our life whether intentionally or not are many. But the ones who hurt us the most (or atleast me) are those who come in our life for a few days or months and give us a lot of happiness but than suddenly without any apparent reason go out of it. A few days back i recieved an email that suggested that we should not carry the bitter moments of past with us...
it was a story of two chinese monks which i will share some other time...
The point is even if we do forget the bitter moments of the past, should we remember the good ones??
What kind of approach should we have when the most happiest moments of our past when remembered turn into a misery.

This is what happens when someone who was the cause of happiness for you suddenly is no more there. Death is a fact and so when our dear ones leave us, with the passage of time we accept that they are not any more in this world but just in our hearts.
They dont leave us on their will.
However their are some people (those who maybe are not aware that they are dear to someone) who without giving you any reason just end the relation you enjoyed for a long time.
There are many ways of telling someone that you are no more wanted.
Among these is the tactic of ignorance.
This means that ignore the person you dont want anymore around you and indirectly give him the message "go to hell".
Another is of arguing uselessly to irritate the other person so much that he starts hating you and the time you spend together.

Maybe i am an abnormally sensitive person who imagines every thing is going the wrong way.
But still this is the message some people are giving. I therefore do take some rash steps to avoid the mounting tension such poeple give me by just ending the relation myself. This is what i did this time. But the guilt and uneasiness i am feeling from the moment i took the decision without even saying bye is not a relief. SO, here i am blogging again...
just in case a friend accidently views this page, he would be able to understand my behaviour.

A message to a friend:
"Dear F!
The time we had was sure fun. I dont know what changed your behaviour but i do know that i tried and did ask for a reason. You never accepted that anything had ever gone wrong and i cant say it right when its not. So, whatever you may think about me...
i did what i thought was best i.e i really thought after such bitter talks as we used to have lately. there is no point in spoiling what good memories we had with increasing the bad ones.
i am sorry if i did anything that had hurt you. But it sure did hurt when i felt i no longer exist in your life as a friend. Please forgive me if i were wrong."




No matter how hard i try, i can never forget people who i considered at any point of my life as my friends. And when the friendship is no longer there...
it hurts a lot more....
i miss all those who are no more around me....whether intentionally or not.........

LAAL MASJID AND MY ONCE PEACEFUL ISLAMABAD!!!

So, i really forgot my blogs during exams. Even after the exams i could not think of something to write about. But finally i am back in form and will try to post regularly.
Life here in islamabad is pretty obvious these days. We, the izloo people nowadays are the focus of everyone. And that without the trouble of arranging any international conference or seminar. The laal masjid issue is getting on the nerves of every Islamabadi in particular and every Pakistani in general. Generally when someone asked me to describe islamabad, the first discriptive word that came to my mind was peaceful. Islamabad was always a peaceful city. The thrill loving people used to call it boring. But i always loved this city. But nowadays its a city whose people cannot sleep at night because of the firing exchanged between the laal masjid people and the security forces. In my eighteen years of life, this is the first time i am seeing this face of islamabad. One thing is very clear that islamabad can no more be considered a safe city. Its a wonder for everybody that how the people of this madrassah and mosque collected so much weapons that they are still fighting with 12000 security personals. Although we know that the forces are holding back from attacking the mosque due to the fear of losing so many lifes who probably are kept there as hostages to be used as a human shield when the need arises. Some people think that this is just a political drama played well by all the concerned parties.
Whatever it is, its making the citizens suffer. The people are terrified and are confined in their own houses. The summer vacations for which the children wait anxiously all the year, are now no fun at all. Most of all the markets and public places are deserted. The silent city roars with the noise of bullets and bombs but nothing else. Its been five days but no improvement at all. We are still standing on the same point- waiting for some miracle to solve the problem. The maulana Ghazi Rasheed changes his mind every hour. And apparently the government wants him to surrender unconditionally and is not ready to make hasty attempts to take control of the mosque. In my opinion this thing is going to be solved by exerting force and army action at the end. Because Ghazi Rasheed is not a man of his words and he is not concerned with the lives of innocent people. He is a selfish person who just wants exemption from the cases filed against him and a safe passage. If he was concerned with the lives of people he would not have been teaching students to use guns in the name of religious education and jihad. Whatever way the problem is solved i hope the minimum number of lives are lost and the issue ends without any controversy. The people of islamabad will always remember these days when they witnessed the war with the enemy within them. The Laal mosque issue is a blow to the image of Islam and madrassah's all over the country and even in the whole world. The Muslim world which is already suffering from the ill effects of 9/11 and 7/7 events and the suicide bombings carried by Al- Qaeda and Taliban, are going to suffer even more after this event. I, as a Muslim know that this is not the real Islam. People who kill their own people for their own personal gains cannot be Muslims. The literal meaning of Islam is peace. And the deeds of these peoples are condemned by every true Muslim. Jihad is the name of struggle- struggle for a better, peaceful world. It does not mean killing people without any motive. Killing innocent people in the name of jihad is an insult to the teachings of Islam. We have to fight against these evil forces to promote the true image of Islam all over the world.
This Lal mosque thing made me serious and sentimental. I am really depressed to see the city where i was born and have spent most of my life in this way. Where law and order was always maintained, now the army is patrolling. Its citizens are terrified and are hoping that they will be able to walk in the streets without any fear soon. That the government will take measures to prevent such an event from happening again. That the law and order will be restored again and the life will become normal. I strongly believe that people who project Islam in such a negative way should be dealt with strictness so that no one tries to make the mistake again.

Hoping for a better and peaceful solution of the problem with minimum possible bloodshed.

SADDAM'S HANGING!!

The scenario, which the Muslim world is facing right now, is the worst of all times. When we look a few years back, we recollect the big bang that hit the world with all its force at the dawn of 11th September, 2001. Apparently, the 9/11 provided the United States with the much awaited opportunity for waging a war against the entire Muslim world, in the pretense of “THE WAR AGAINST TERRORISM.” It started from Afghanistan and is not yet finished at Iraq. The sharp, cunning eyes of the United States are now focused on Iran.

At the present moment, however, the point towards which I want to bring your attention is the recent hanging of the former President of Iraq-Saddam Hussein, its worldwide broadcast and its long lasting affects. Was the hanging without even completing the so-called trial and going over all Saddam’s crimes justifiable or not, is a question that is to remain unanswered. There is no doubt that it is still debatable if Saddam died as a martyr, a victim or a dictator and criminal who massacred thousands of innocent people. To make the situation even worse, there comes the grainy video of his execution, telecasted at every news channel of the world, with the audible sounds of Saddam being mocked at the gallows by the witnesses present. Now this is entirely insane and unfair. Mocking a dying man, no matter whatever he has done in his life, is immoral and a complete nonsense. And to add oil to the fire, it is done on the Eid day. Whatever he was- according to Mr. Bush or the rest of the world, he was a hero in the eyes of many people. If Hitler was hanged publicly for all the brutality he committed, in front of the whole world, how would the Germans feel? No doubt they will be outrageous! Because, despite all his cruelties an injustices to the humanity, he was their leader and hero. Similar is the case with Saddam- he was a courageous leader of a Muslim country and mocking him in front of the whole world should cause the ears of other Muslim countries wringing for what is in store for them at the hands of United States.
Historian Garry Wills once wrote “Only the winners decide what war crimes were.”
The fact that this video has increased the lurking danger of Iraq’s division into three countries- the Shiastan, Sunistan and Kurdistan, is undeniable. But the people who suffered the most from it are those who already have mental disorders and depression problems. Watching the video forces us to ponder upon the following questions:-
Why do we kill each other so deliberately? Why do we kill each other so casually, as in war? Why do we kill anything?
We allow death its way every day, across the world, in places sucked dry by poverty and famine, simply by sitting by.
It makes us feel that life is a joke. Although death is efficient at finding victims of its own, we scramble to give it a hand, rationalizing our help as moral and just. The media is already filled with gruesome images of death, violence and terrorism, making it impossible for us to live a normal life. We live in a constant terror of becoming a victim of suicide bombing. In these circumstances, the grainy video has its effects, as it makes us believe killing a man is no big a deal. On the other hand it also leads to the feeling of helplessness in the people who loved the man. Thinking they are unable to do anything, and seeing the corpse of their hero with a broken neck swinging sideways at the end of a thick rope.
And then this video costs the life of many children. From Yemen to United States, several boys and adolescents ranging from age nine to thirteen hung themselves after watching graphic footage of Saddam Hussein’s execution. Hisham Ramy, an associate professor of psychiatry at Ain Shams University in Cairo, said graphic videos can have a severe effect on children who don’t yet know the consequences of death and violence. Innocent as they were- they saw how its done with the assistance of the telecasted video, but don’t think its horrific, and they are more likely to imitate it.
Child psychologist Jasem Hajela in Kuwait city placed all blame on video images.

Considering all what has happened in this short time after the hanging, there also is the fear of Taliban carrying more attacks killing civilians for seeking revenge. After all the gory scenes we had already witnessed during the war against terrorism and the losses the Muslim world had to endure, it is hard to imagine what will happen next. We simply cannot tolerate a divided Iraq, increased terrorism and violence and most of all our children hanging themselves just because they had watched five sublime minutes at the hanging rope and in their innocence had mimicked it. The broadcast of the video was a huge mistake. It caused fear, terror and initiated anger among the Muslims. Such a mistake should never be committed again. As movements against the death penalty are being carried by many organizations, we should also try to limit ourselves for what can be shown on the screen and what should be not. The increased on-screen violence is dangerous for us and our future. Lets hope that we can at least lessen the violence all around by not showing it in such a manner on televisions and other sources of the media and hence lead ourselves to a better, peaceful and serene world.