Tere Bina.........

i have no idea why but i want to keep listening to this..... for as long as i can...

it sort of has its effect directly and deeply on the soul......

Love it like anything.............

And nidz!!!! thanks for reviving my love for such a beloved song after quite a long time... :)

it helps me to bear the worst trials at time.... :)

Tere bina zindagi se koi.........shikwa to nahi

shikwa nahi

Tere bina zindagi bhe lekin.... zindagi to nahi

zindagi nahi

Random thoughts!!!

Yeah i know....
people would say...
this girl opens her blog whenever she has some exam coming up and then whines about the tough time she is having, the bad results she gets and everything that goes against her....

But then people.....
can't you see???
It's my life???
so i will live it my way :P

Enough of this stupid attitude....

the CVS (cardiovascular) went away before it started...
and respiratory...
did we really start it??
Well. even if we didn't....
Its over....
we have an assessment on the coming Monday and Tuesday....
and people are definitely studying...
not updating there blogs like me....

Well i tried...but realized there is a little bit too much to do...and as i was confused...i thought it would be better if i relax myself first :)

So, here i am....

It's strange how we change with the course of time....
how the way we think changes....
few incidents in life are imprinted in our minds forever...

I have been planning to write about so many things....but lack of time always stops me from doing so...
many things which i want to share just waste away....because by the time i open up this blog....
the event which had triggered the thought is long gone...
so many things happen so rapidly...that i get no time to record them....

and i hate when this happens...when i get no time to rethink about the way i am living my life....

I am missing many people these days...
many friends are lost.....
lost probably in their own busy lives....

times come when i feel i am the most lonely person in this whole world....
but i know...whenever i get this feeling....
something happens to remind me that i am valued.....
that i am thought about....

Its strange..how i thought when I'll start my studies at Shifa, i would never miss my past time...but i do...
i miss u aini???
where have you been all this time???
Its been long time you called?
Please do so?
because i am missing you these days....missing you badly....

People would ask why cant this girl call her self??
well, well, well
i can, but i won't.....
i want you to call my girl...to know that you miss me too....

Are you loving the life in Greece so much so that you forgot this poor little friend here???

And jia???
you live just a sector away....
but whats wrong girl?
why are we just having two text messages per week of talk??
Too busy?? right?
Will see you later on....

And Razi....
you promised we are meeting in June...so if we don't...ill kill you
curse your sessionals and every stupid semester exam you have....

And A.f
i know we have misunderstandings, i know we fight....
but i try my best not to annoy you....and you know what....
when i fail to do so.....it hurts me big time....
because i start thinking there is something genetically wrong with me which i can't correct...
someday ill make you really really happy.....

AND H....
I am really sorry...i couldn't console you when you really needed me...
death is an issue i really am bad at dealing with....
my vocabulary gets lost.....
i am sorry for uncle.....May he rest in peace......
and wish you good luck with life....
you told me you prayed for something you badly want in life this Friday?
you said you cried while praying....
I pray that you get whatever you want... (Amen)

and RB....
thanks for your compliment yar....
it was such a big one for me :)
i hope i don't disappoint you in the end!
and remember your promise about being the proofreader of my first book :P (if it ever comes out)


and Saadi Api....
I feel so sorry for not being able to attend your wedding....
i will regret it forever...
but then...can't miss a modular assessment :(
(huh! here it comes again)

and mom and dad....
sorry for my mood swings these days.....
i will make you proud someday.....
but dad please...try and understand i am not a machine...
i can't endure any additional courses with MBBS at least...
i hope you understand.....


this now has started to look like a note full of sorries!!! :-S

i don't know why these days i miss you a lot mamu.....
why you left us so very early??
i wanted you to be with us now....
But thats what Allah wanted probably...
you are seeing us from above...right?
I miss you.....

I missed IPL :(
i just watched the final of the RBS 20/20....
but i have decided i won't miss a single match of the T20 World cup.... :)


and i hate being out of touch with news....
curse the people who spread fear in our country....
all the terrorists should be locked in jail and that jail should be sent to some other planet where they die without anyone to cry for them......

Nidz, FI....
thanks people for being there :)
i guess we are getting along well with each other....and i so hope that it goes like this forever
love you....

ZT, YI....
girls we don't see much of each other these days..... (probably because i hate library)
anyways.....
i hope we stay friends and good ones for that :)
(i mean friends forever).......

I wish all my class goodluck for this module....
and a very very goodluck to me too :)

and yeah...summers are here...
i am so looking forward to the monsoon rains....despite the fact that it would be very humid and sweaty..
i love rain..... :)

Anyways....goodluck with life....
i can keep on typing but then...

the longer the post...the fewer the people to read it....
so......
me going off for a while....
may i have some peace in life :)

The misery of missing......

This post is for all those people i cant stop missing, no matter how hard I try.

Well, in our life we come across a lot of people.....
some of them bring fun in our life and some of them are just there to irritate the hell out of us.
The people who are responsible for bringing trouble in our life whether intentionally or not are many. But the ones who hurt us the most (or atleast me) are those who come in our life for a few days or months and give us a lot of happiness but than suddenly without any apparent reason go out of it. A few days back i recieved an email that suggested that we should not carry the bitter moments of past with us...
it was a story of two chinese monks which i will share some other time...
The point is even if we do forget the bitter moments of the past, should we remember the good ones??
What kind of approach should we have when the most happiest moments of our past when remembered turn into a misery.

This is what happens when someone who was the cause of happiness for you suddenly is no more there. Death is a fact and so when our dear ones leave us, with the passage of time we accept that they are not any more in this world but just in our hearts.
They dont leave us on their will.
However their are some people (those who maybe are not aware that they are dear to someone) who without giving you any reason just end the relation you enjoyed for a long time.
There are many ways of telling someone that you are no more wanted.
Among these is the tactic of ignorance.
This means that ignore the person you dont want anymore around you and indirectly give him the message "go to hell".
Another is of arguing uselessly to irritate the other person so much that he starts hating you and the time you spend together.

Maybe i am an abnormally sensitive person who imagines every thing is going the wrong way.
But still this is the message some people are giving. I therefore do take some rash steps to avoid the mounting tension such poeple give me by just ending the relation myself. This is what i did this time. But the guilt and uneasiness i am feeling from the moment i took the decision without even saying bye is not a relief. SO, here i am blogging again...
just in case a friend accidently views this page, he would be able to understand my behaviour.

A message to a friend:
"Dear F!
The time we had was sure fun. I dont know what changed your behaviour but i do know that i tried and did ask for a reason. You never accepted that anything had ever gone wrong and i cant say it right when its not. So, whatever you may think about me...
i did what i thought was best i.e i really thought after such bitter talks as we used to have lately. there is no point in spoiling what good memories we had with increasing the bad ones.
i am sorry if i did anything that had hurt you. But it sure did hurt when i felt i no longer exist in your life as a friend. Please forgive me if i were wrong."




No matter how hard i try, i can never forget people who i considered at any point of my life as my friends. And when the friendship is no longer there...
it hurts a lot more....
i miss all those who are no more around me....whether intentionally or not.........